This week’s eight are from “Tim and Sara,” my short story ebook (description and link to the whole story just over there in the sidebar to your left).
In this scene, Tim is having one of his flashbacks.
Someone’s hand reaches for me and I pull tighter, not willing to let them pull me away from under the table (under the dock Paul’s hand floating next to me something brushes my leg something in here with me with Paul’s hand with the blood I thrash around have to stay still or he’ll find me like he did Ellen so much blood Ellen get up hide somewhere). They can see me though; they can find me.
“Tim.” A voice, calling to me through the air that suffocates me like water. “Tim, it’s okay. You don’t need to hide, okay?” A hand brushes my leg and I shudder, lash out at it with my leg (pulls me from the water tells me it’s okay but Paul’s lifeless eyes say otherwise Ellen’s eyes were closed she’s just sleeping so much blood Ellen get up get away from him don’t let him touch you don’t let him touch me). Something stings my thigh, and then all goes black.
Post a link to your eight sentences blog entry, or join the fun at the Weekend Writing Warriors website (I forgot to sign up this week, but I’m still playing).
Wow! that really freaked me out. Great job on your snippet. I hope this continues next week. I’ll be back. :-)
That is great writing. I hope you post more next week ~ I’ll be back to find out what happens!
Really scary from the brush he feels on his leg to being pulled out. What makes him feel that Ellen is alive and is she? Obviously, this is someone who knows them enough to call him by name. I get a little confused between the table and the dock or are they the same?
This is intense and creepy!
I agree with the other comments. Really atmospheric, scary and intense. Great 8!
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