Weekend Writing Warriors 2/17 #8sunday

I started a new temp job last week, an assignment that’ll probably last until August (unless I find something full time before then).  Not only does the work have a nice variety, but the place is super laid back.  On Thursday, I was told to bring a book with me because the next day would probably be slow, and we could read if there was no work to be done.  Instead of reading the whole time, I started on a story that I’ve been wanting to write for awhile, but the details just came together this week.

photo from School for Champions

It’s a twist on a Greek myth, with the female main character relating it years later to the male main character.  In this chunk, she’s just met him and noticed his unusual eyes – blue, when everyone else’s are brown.  At this point, she’s annoyed by him because she perceives him to be yet another self-absorbed hero looking to marry a princess.

“My adopted father says they’re a gift from the gods, marking me as their favorite,” you said as you grinned at me, as if expecting me to be impressed by this claim.

I nodded curtly, turned to my father. “The sun is tiring. May I return to the palace?”

“Of course. We need you well-rested for tonight’s feast.”

As I turned my horse, I noticed the brief crestfallen look on your face and smiled to myself. Even after so much time has passed, I still take great pride and pleasure in being one of the few women ever able to reject your advances.

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  1. Now you can say you’re getting paid to write ;) Nice little dialogue.

    1. Being able to write while on the clock is definitely more lucrative than token payments for short stories. :D

  2. Enjoyed the dialog, yup, always satisfying to surprise the guy all the girls fall for! Terrific snippet!

  3. A twisted Greek myth! :) Cool, anxious to see more. I get a kick out of her still being proud of deflating his sails.

    In the last sentence, I think you meant “pleasure” instead of “please”.

    1. Thanks for catching that!

  4. I like it — what a terrific character voice, and a terrific idea for a narrative!

  5. This sounds unique! I like her pride, but wonder if she had it thrown back into her face in coming years.

  6. I love Greek mythology! A bit confused, is she the sun? Or was she referring to Apollo and his fiery steeds getting tired?

    1. I meant it as being in the sun is tiring, but I might change it to a reference to Apollo, seeing as he’s a character later in the story.

  7. Is Orion involved, or just the constellation?

  8. Nice excerpt. I can feel her amusement.

  9. This is a great setup for what could be a very dynamic relationship (I’m a little smug on her behalf ;). I hope you’ll share more next week!

  10. A strong empowered woman and Greek mythology. Just my sort of thing. Great excerpt and her voice is coming through well

  11. There’s a lot of atmosphere in these 8 sentences. You’ve built the scene strongly. Great extract

  12. Yay for working at a place where you can write on a slow day!

    I like the tone of this, but I think it’s intriguing and unusual that you’ve made it first person POV with a second person narrative device – the princess is ‘I’ and the love interest is ‘you’. (Might be odder for female readers.)

    Thanks for sharing!

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