This month’s excerpts are from the next stand-alone short story I plan to release (still working on the title). I don’t have a blurb yet either, but it’s about an American guy’s up-and-down relationship with a French girl.
In this week’s scene, Daniel has arrived at the airport, leaving France to head back to America.
* * * * * * *
The train’s next stop is the airport. Daniel has made a full circle; he arrived in Paris alone, and he’ll leave from the same place alone once again. He tries to focus on the sterile architecture of the building, with its white walls and postmodern arches and walkways. The gray skies over the tarmac threaten rain as he waits in line for security. Again, he’s struck by the crazy urge to go back to Avignon, to find Mireille and tell her- Tell her what, exactly? She’s heard his apologies, and if they didn’t change her mind the first time, the tenth time, the fiftieth time, why would this time be any different?
He slips off his shoes, unbuckles his belt, and drops his backpack onto the conveyor belt. As the line inches closer to the body scanners, that urge grows stronger, but he ignores it as he places his hands above his head, then collects his belongings from the plastic bins.
Outside, the skies have opened up.
* * * * * * * * * *
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Great job creating an atmospheric setting.
You’ve really succeeded in convincing me he should give in to that urge, even if there’s nothing logical about it.
I hope he doesn’t give in to thinking his relationship with Mireille is hopeless.
Incidentally, I love the name ‘Mireille’. To me, it’s similar to ‘Siobhan’ in that it sounds gorgeous and is spelled … well … rather ungorgeous.
Wow, the tone in this snippet is wonderful. I can really feel the emotional turmoil he’s going through.
Beautifully descriptive and melancholy. I love how the weather mirrors his mood. Wonderful writing, E.D.
So much sadness in this excerpt, and the last line is a perfect punctuation of that. Fantastic! I hope he doesn’t give up on Mereille yet :-)
I like how he’s uncertain of what he wants to do. I also love the final line, which will hopefully prompt his choice! :)
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