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Weekend Writing Warrior 11/29/15 #8Sunday

coverThis week’s snippet is from my short story collection, The Futility of Loving a Soldier, which has a print edition coming out this week.

Today’s excerpt is from “Gone But Not Forgotten.” Carolyn is going through boxes belonging to her ex-husband when she finds a medal that triggers some memories of when she went out for the afternoon, leaving her husband to watch their baby. She arrived home and no one was there. After several hours of searching, the police called to let her know they found her baby, safe.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Her mom drove her to the station, where Shanna slept in a strange car seat. Carolyn picked up her daughter and embraced her so hard the baby woke and started screaming, their tears and cries mixing.

Carolyn had so focused on Shanna she hadn’t noticed Bryce, who now stood right next to her, and she pivoted, trying to shield the baby from him with her arms.

“I knew I couldn’t trust you,” she said, her frustration and relief and fears morphing into anger. “Three hours, Bryce, I left you for three hours, and you couldn’t handle that. What kind of father are you?”

His eyes, unstable at the best of times, flashed with an emotion she didn’t have time to read and didn’t want to read, and then hardened. He stared at her, stared at her daughter, and turned on his heels and walked out the door.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Read more about Carolyn and Bryce in The Futility of Loving a Soldier, then post a link to your eight sentences blog entry, or join the fun at the Weekend Writing Warriors website.

And if you’re a writer, sign up to be a Friday Five author, which gets you and your latest work featured on my blog.

8 Comments

  1. So sad. Great description of the damage of war and her not understanding his pain. Heart breaking and so well written.

  2. How heart tearing! The emotion rolls off the words. Great job!

  3. What a dark place for him to be. Heartbreaking! Well written.

  4. Makes me really curious to know what happened. Great snippet, if sad.

  5. Ouch. Right to the heart. It’s terrible he lost their baby somehow, but is it really his fault? Or is he just not capable right now?

  6. Very dramatic scene, full of easily understandable emotions. Well done!

  7. Oh, such a powerful scene. It definitely clutched at my heart. I hope there is some resolution for the two of them.

  8. Oh, man, that went write to my love of dark drama really quickly. Having known soldiers dealing with PTSD who just couldn’t handle kids…Wow…

    Plus we don’t know what happened in those 3 hours, do we? It would be very interesting to find out, because it’s so easy to judge when you aren’t entangled in someone’s problems.

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