This week’s excerpt is from “Man of the House,” the second story in my short story collection, Us, Together.
In this story, a little boy is confronted with his parents’ failing marriage.
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For eight-year-old Jerry, Sunday, May 17th, 1987, started as a day just like any other, with church in the morning followed by an afternoon on the couch watching baseball with Dad. Mom kept popping her head in from the kitchen to complain about the beer, the cigarettes, the TV being so goddamn loud and didn’t he realize the baby was trying to sleep?
Of course Dad must have realized it, sitting there hunched over, rubbing his temples and downing can after can of Budweiser. Good American beer for a good American man, he always said. When Jerry was older he was never able to drink the stuff himself, told everyone it tasted like crap but really the taste brought back memories that made him cry.
But that day in May, that Sunday, Jerry wasn’t crying. He was eight years old, bouncing on the couch, rooting for the Cubbies, asking Dad if he saw that play, if he thought it could’ve gone another way, if that ump was crazy. And Dad just sat there on the couch, drinking beer after beer, not answering.
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Read more in Us, Together, then post a link to your eight sentences blog entry, or join the fun at the Weekend Writing Warriors website.
Fabulous scene set up. I could so see it. See the little boy jumping up and down so excited about the game. Great snippet.
So many layers to this piece… A bit heartbreaking given the mini-blurb, but so easy to see. How one small change might have “fixed” things… but then probably not what was really broken.
Terrific setup. Love the memories. I got lost with him, and my stomach in my throat, waiting for what comes next. Great excerpt.
Oh boy, I can feel the bad things coming! Very effective snippet…the boy seemed all too real, feel sorry for him.
Wow, great tension building, and you really yank at our emotions by using an 8-year old child. The reader knows something bad is coming but doesn’t know what. Terrific snippet.
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