Weekend Writing Warriors 10/5/14 #8sunday

newtimandsara2October = Halloween = horror!

Here’s a snippet from “Tim and Sara,” about two friends who escape from a mental institution. Tim is in the dayroom, people-watching. He notices a nurse doing something he shouldn’t and tries to confront him.

“What am I worried about; you’re not gonna tell anyone, right, Tim?”


He reaches towards me (blood on his fingers his plaid shirt is covered with blood dripping from the knife in his hand Ellen is on the floor not moving her shirt bloody so much blood so much blood everywhere why is there so much blood why isn’t she moving Ellen get up I call but he laughs and says she can’t hear me no one can hear me the knife moves closer blood and flesh I can’t leave Ellen so much blood Ellen why won’t you get up) and I run, have to hide somewhere because he hurt Ellen but he won’t hurt me.


I duck under the table that Old Joe and Scott Brown Elliot were playing chess on, curl into a ball with my head tucked between my knees.


“That counts as your move,” I hear Old Joe say but his voice sounds far away, as if I’m underwater. They can’t find me if I’m underwater (Paul was floating in the water blood surrounding him too on the shore on the dock blood everywhere but not his hand where’s his hand he can help me if he has his hands stop floating you have to help me so much blood so dark under the dock monsters in the water monsters in the house monsters trying to get me) and I know there’s no water but I don’t trust the water anyway.


Someone’s hand reaches for me and I pull tighter, not willing to let them pull me away from under the table (under the dock Paul’s hand floating next to me something brushes my leg something in here with me with Paul’s hand with the blood I thrash around have to stay still or he’ll find me like he did Ellen so much blood Ellen get up hide somewhere). They can see me though; they can find me.


“Tim,” a voice says, calling to me through the air that suffocates me like water, “Tim, it’s okay.”

Find out more about Tim’s and Sara’s demons by getting your copy on Amazon. Then post a link to your eight sentences blog entry, or join the fun at the Weekend Writing Warriors website.

And while you’re at Amazon, get a free copy of my latest short story, “Not My Thing.”


  1. Wow nice snippet. I loved this line: They can’t find me if I’m underwater.

  2. Wow, intense. I thought the inner dialogue really captured the panicked thought process of a mental patient in such a situation. Poor guy!

  3. I’m gasping for breath after reading this intense snippet knowing somewhere people feel this way. Brilliant, E D.

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