Today’s eight are from a story I posted from about a month ago, about two people who were best friends growing up but drifted away after graduation: she went to law school and he went into the army. Now a decade later they’re both back in their hometown, trying to figure out where – and if – they fit in each other’s separate lives.
Abby hasn’t seen Eli in years; they’ve just bumped into each other at the grocery store, several days before Eli’s wedding.
He’d gained weight since I’d seen him at the hospital, in decent enough shape still, but in five years he’d have the potbelly rampant with so many of the guys in town, and his face was harder, more lined since high school, which I guess was to be expected after what he’d gone through. I tried not to stare at the stump where his left hand should’ve been, but unable to look him in the eyes, I just looked down at the box in my hand instead.
I sensed him tensing, and the glance I darted at him showed the smile was gone from his face. Just like that, I’d become like everyone else in the town; he’d gone from my best friend to poor Eli.
Stretching up to give him a hug, I said, “Congrats on getting married.”
“Yeah, well.” He pulled me tighter than I’d expected. “I’m not married yet.”
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Whoo hoo! I can’t wait to see where this goes! I love the obvious tension and know the hard face of an Army soldier well (since I’m married to one, haha!) Awesome eight!
Wonderful 8 lines, the ending you chose for us leaves it cliffhanging and now I’m curious if he’s rethinking marriage. Thank you for sharing.
Maybe that marriage won’t ever take place. It sounds like he’s been pining for her.
This was beautiful–lots of thought went into it, a lot of emotions shared in your words. And I love that last line! Great job, ED. :-)
Nicely done reunion scene–and you intrigued me with “Yeah, well…I’m not married yet.” Certainly a lot of unspoken information (invitation?) in that line!
Emotive and beautifully written, that last line is pretty powerful too!
ohh man, you can’t just stop there, lol! I love how succinct yet evocative your excerpts are. I’m always impressed when I come here.
Seems there are a lot of feelings waiting to be revealed, especially with that final sentence. Excellent excerpt, can’t wait to read more!
I’m wondering why he is getting married.Has he chosen quickly based on army and the lose of part of a limb. Was there love? It seems as if the love of impending marriage is not great and other things are pulling at his life yet.
Hmmm; a bit of a twist at the end there. Interested to read where this goes. Great excerpt!
I wonder who his intended wife is and how she feels.
Does his fiancee by any chance walk up next and hit him in the head with a cast iron frying pan? If that’s how he feels, he should have called it off long before this.
Haha. I loved the last line. If I were her, I’d be like, “Uh, what the hell does that mean?” Geez, men. Can’t wait to read her reaction and if his fiancee finds out.
Nice twist at the end, I’d be reeling from that statement if I was Abby!
I’m in awe of your ability to tell a story. Wow!
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