Alas, Six Sentence Sunday is no more. But fear not, because the lovely ladies at Weekend Writing Warriors have asked me to play with them. It’s slightly different – eight sentences instead of six – but other than that, it’s a great way to continue to share bits of what I’ve written.
This week’s chunk comes from a story about two people who were best friends growing up, but drifted away after graduation: she went to law school and he went into the army. Now a decade later they’re both back in their hometown, trying to figure out where they fit in each other’s separate lives.
Abby, the female MC, visited Eli in the hospital after he was wounded overseas.
I edged over to his bed, picked up his right hand—his only hand now—careful not to disturb any of the wires and tubes sticking out of him. I stared at his fingers and palm, tracing the callouses on his fingertips before gently setting it back down and leaving the room.
I didn’t go back.
Fortunately Jamie Linn was there to help him rebound and rebuild once he was back home in Texas. She’d had a crush on him for as long as anyone could remember. She was a nurse now, or home care aide or traveling physical therapist, something that got her into his house each day and got him back to healthy. And once he was better, up and around and selling used cars with his dad, she’d stuck around. It was the perfect romance story come to life, except my mom said Eli had bad spells where he’d just lock himself in his room and stare at the walls, and Jamie Linn got really weepy whenever a show like The Bachelor or 19 Kids and Counting came on and reminded her that she was twenty-seven, childless, and engaged to a moody one-handed used-car salesman.
Post a link to your six sentences blog entry, or join the fun at the Weekend Writing Warriors website.
Hmm…sounds interesting and heart wrenching. Since this is my first time, I’m a tad bit confused between Abby and Jamie, but I will be watching. I love a good cry and a great romance, as long as I get a semblance of an HEA. :)
I like the tenderness of the first paragraph and the abrupt way she cut herself out of his life. Her summary of Jamie Linn is just curt enough to hint at suppressed jealousy. Great sentences.
Interesting read and character studies. Definitely want to know what happens next. Cheers!
Wow, ED, so much emotion in so few lines. Nice job. I loved Abby’s realization she couldn’t go back Jamie Linn had gotten the guy, but only half of him. Nicely done. :)
Wow, this story is intriguing, SO much emotion. Can’t wait to read more – terrific excerpt!
This is a very emotional snippet. It sounds like a great book.
I love the swing of emotions here. Very powerful, ED.
So poignant and timely. Foreshadowing of conflict. Good eight, ED
Mature and tinged with sadness. Lovely.
You’ve really got a handle on showing bittersweet moments, ED. This is very good :)
Packed with emotion, and an excellent summary of Jamie Linn.
Very clever writing in this. Considering the subject matter, I hate to admit I smiled a few times. Enjoyed your excerpt!
Comments are closed.