Six Sentence Sunday 10/28 #sixsunday

In honor of NaNoWriMo, which starts in four days and for which I have yet to prepare, this week’s six come from the very first novel I wrote, back in November of 2009.  It’s a hero’s quest roughly based on Zoroastrianism and leads up to a big battle between the forces of good and bad.  I think the premise is good, but the writing is horrible; maybe someday I’ll rewrite the whole thing.

In this scene, Claire has just found out she’s a deva (a heavenly being a step below an angel) and had her powers and true form restored. 

Jon rolled over to look at her, a smile on his face, but it immediately disappeared, and he quickly, violently, leaped back out of the bed. “Holy shit, Claire, what the hell are those?”

Out of the corner of her eye, Claire glimpsed something silvery-white and feathery; holy shit was right. She hadn’t lost control like this in years, not since she’d first arrived on this plane. But unlike that time, when she’d immediately hidden them, she now left them to appear as they may. “Um, those are wings.”

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  1. Nice bit! It’s got promise. I’d like to see what it looks like after tweaking.I’ve read a bit about Zoroastrianism & though it’s been years I’m still interested in lesser-known religions. This story sounds like a lot of fun to write!

  2. A nice surprise – I like her control! Excellent excerpt!

  3. Owllady – it was a lot of fun writing it, but it was my first ever attempt at a novel, so it needs a TON of work before it’s readable. I’ve learned so much about the writing process in the past 3 years!

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