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Tag: writing tip

Unreliable narrators

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There’s a concept in stories, the unreliable narrator, where the main character is so convinced of something that his beliefs color his every word and thought and action, even though we the readers know otherwise (Humbert Humbert in Lolita is a great example of this).  Or sometimes, we the readers don’t know it until an outside event opens our eyes.

It’s not that the characters are lying, necessarily.  Teenagers always think they’re persecuted and misunderstood, but most people realize the melodramatics are overblown by the time they reach 25-30.  In my Lone Wolf novel, the main character Andrew sees himself as a martyr, as always doing the right thing and being punished for it.  The reader, I think, can see right through it, but that doesn’t make him less of a person.  The female MC, Kasey, is also a bit of an unreliable narrator, although with her it’s more subtle.

It can be more blatent.  One of my students told me today that he went by an Army recruitment office yesterday, and that if he signs up (he’ll be 18 in a few months) they’ll pay to send him to Missouri for training.  Yesterday he had a story about missing a job interview at McDonald’s.  He went by and talked to a major factory employer who offered him a job.  His uncle is a millionaire.  The list goes on.  We both know that he’s exaggerating or outright lying, but it’s who he is – he wants to impress everyone, so he makes up stories.

A friend of mine is the same.  He tells outrageous stories that I know didn’t happen.  But he’s told them so many times, to so many people, that he now believes they’re true.  To him, now, they did happen.

Our perceptions color so much of how we experience life, how we process our thoughts.  I think the key to building great characters is to give them that lens that colors their world, and then let the readers decide if their POV is justified.

PS: My muse went AWOL last night.  I think I know why and I’m hoping it’s just temporary (it usually is), but if not, if you see my muse tell ’em to come back.  I’m a little directionless without it and with NaNoWriMo starting in a few weeks, I need all the help I can get.  Stupid fickle inspiration.

Getting your readers’ attention

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I freely admit that as a teacher, I don’t always read my kids’ papers that closely, especially late work.  I skim it to make sure it’s done, then slap a grade on it and move on.

Today I came across this:

12.  List four tips for students who want to demonstrate leadership qualities.
Try your hardest, dont get in tourble, don’t smoke crack, and keep your head up.

While technically true that yes, good leaders shouldn’t smoke crack, it’s definitely not an answer from their class notes.  But it made me pay attention, and I read the rest of the paper very closely looking for more unorthodox answers.

So what’s the point of this, and what does it have to do with writing?

When someone’s reading a novel, there might be parts they skip over – long paragraphs of descriptions, fight scenes, or mundane dialogue.  But as writers, we want readers to devour our every word.  So throw in a bit of the unexpected, not just as words in a paragraph but as plot twists.  As character quirks.  Give your readers a reason to pay close attention to your story, rather than viewing it as a mindless throw away story.

What are some unexpected things you like in stories, either from the reader’s or writer’s perspective?

"I bring a pen to class," or, the importance of clarity

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Twice a week my students have to write a journal response to a prompt.  Today’s was about them – what makes them tick, what makes them unique, what they bring to the class.  Some bring a sense of humor or a strong work ethic, while others bring paper and their backpack.

I learned an important lesson today:  Just because I understand something doesn’t mean everyone understands.  And the same can be applied to your writing.  That’s why you need beta readers.  Many beta readers.  Chances are if several people point out the same thing, you’re doing it wrong.

Another point to emphasize is to know your audience.  Will they understand you?  I have students who are on a third-grade reading level, and others who describe themselves as “wanting to be able to express myself coherently.”  I need to tailor my class to somewhere in the middle where most of my students are, and then work individually with the outlying students.  With writing, however, you don’t have to worry about that.  Think of what your readers want and which readers you want, and then make sure they know what you’re talking about.  This includes vocabulary as well as references and writing style.

Have you had any problems with your readers misunderstanding what you’ve written?  How do you deal with it?

Professional development for writers

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Today I’m writing this blog post while sitting in Panera, scarfing down one of their delicious souffles.  Why am I at Panera at 10:00 on a Monday?  Why am I not at work?

Professional development.

Huh?

Today is the first day of new teacher training for my district.  As a contract employee, I thought I had to go but none of the stuff covered today pertains to me, so I headed to breakfast instead (where I’m currently taking a break from writing my syllabus, so yes, I technically am working).  Tomorrow and Wednesday, however, I’ll be in meetings most of the day, learning about resources the district provides as well as getting tips from veteran teachers and administrators.  Professional development is an integral part of a teacher’s career; while it’s theoretically possible to become an awesome teacher all by yourself, it’s a lot easier to learn from what others have done.

The same is true with writers.  In addition to reading various newsletters and websites about writing (Daily Writing Tips and Bubble Cow are two good ones that immediately spring to mind) as well as various blogs (check my blogroll to the left), I also participate in several forums (Scribophile and Authonomy are the best) with other writers.  And I just enrolled in a 3-week master writing class, taught by a published author/writing teacher, that focuses intensively on novel writing and polishing.  Plus I read as much as I can fit in – stories in journals and websites I’d like to submit to, stuff in the genres I’m writing in, random stuff that catches my eye, etc, etc.

We’re all in this together.  What are some useful resources you turn to in order to become a better writer?

Visual dictionaries

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Ever need a word to describe a part of something and not be able to come up with it?  “You know, that thing that goes on the other thing.”  In French, the word is truc.  And in conversations, it’s fine to not be exact.  But what about when you’re writing?

Well, for that God invented un truc called a visual dictionary.  It tells you the names of all those little pieces and parts and areas that you didn’t even realize had names.  And it’s damn addictive.

I recently used one while writing a short story about hobos riding the rails.  You’d think that having a small kid obsessed with all things transportation-related would mean that I would know the difference between a hopper and a gondola, but alas, I apparently haven’t been paying as much attention to his train videos as I should.

Merriam-Webster Visual Dictionary to the rescue!  I found this great entry that taught me more than I’ll ever need to know about locomotives.  Or at least enough to write a 750-word story about hobos.

(Sadly, there’s nothing in there about hobos.)

How I write a novel

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Another writer wrote to me recently:

the other problem i have.. or maybe it is part of the same problem..(overthinking) is too many ideas all clamoring for attention.. Pick Me! Pick Me! and then i get bogged down trying to decide if they should be included or not sigh.. And then i get fed up and think maybe i should just give up on the whole idea of writing.

This is what I told her:

It seems like you have a focus problem, as well as the internal editor/creativity overdrive.

I know that some people just can’t do it, but have you tried picking a theme and general internal/external conflict, and then writing a summary and outline? Nothing spectatular, just something to carry you through and keep you on track.

For example, I’m currently working on a novel about a kid who finds a wish-granting genie.

I wrote a brief summary first: “Zeke hates his life. His parents are mean, and everyone seems to hate him. His luck seems to change when he finds an old bottle that happens to contain Paribanu – a genie, a fairy godmother, a guardian angel. Zeke now has the power to change his life with a few simple wishes. But getting one’s way has unintended consequences, a lesson he learns and forgets over the course of his life.”

It tells me what the story is about generally (external conflict), as well as a theme – your actions have consequences.

What about an internal conflict? Most character-driven stories have something that the MC is struggling with, and over the course of the story the character grows into a different person, either by changing their views on an issue/life or overcoming (or falling victim to) a flaw/fear/weakness.

To help me with this in my story, I decided to follow Kohlberg’s stages of moral development. So therefore, my MC’s internal conflict is becoming a better person more concerned with the world than himself.

The next step was an outline. I tend to keep mine very basic, and fill in the bits as necessary. This outline serves two purposes for me: 1. it tells me where I’m headed, and 2. it shows me where I’ve been. For stories with lots of plot twists, the second part can be especially helpful.

Here’s part of my outline of chapters:

  1. Meets Cornelius, gets Pari at the end.
  2. Gets to know Pari, small wishes – ice cream, Tommy leave him alone, Cornelius dies and parents oppose him, ends with making #1 – wish I don’t live with my parents.
  3. Cornelius’s funeral, going through his stuff, learning more about him. Ends with parents’ death.
  4. Wish #1 – wish I never saw my parents again –> parents die, blames Paribanu for not listening to him and twisting his words (avoid punishment)
  5. Accidentally wishes that the paper would stop being thrown at him, makes a deal with Stanley to stop the bullying, finds the bottle in his locker.
  6. 1957, age 12 – wish #2 – wish I was rich –> adopted by mean uncle (self-interest)
  7. 1963, age 18 – wish #3 – wish I was popular and like everyone else –> full ride to college on uncle’s rep (social norms)

I haven’t written past chapter 5, so the next chapters are pretty vague. I’ll definitely flesh them out and then add the detail to my outline, but right now they do what I need, which is to show me where I’m going.

With the novel I’m currently editing, I did the same thing. As I was writing, I noticed bits that I had to go back and change as more ideas came to me, but I just made a note to go back and edit it in. And by the time I was done, some of those ideas made sense and some didn’t. While I wanted a few subplots, I made sure that all of them tied into my main plot, which is where having that summary is helpful. If it didn’t relate to that, it didn’t go in.

However, I didn’t throw any of the scenes away. A lot of them, especially whole scenes, can be altered enough to give you either a new short story or another novel.

I realize this method doesn’t work for everyone, but if you can’t seem to stay focused and your plot is wandering all over, if you meant to write a YA paranormal romance and it turned into an obscenity-laced space cowboy thriller – you might want to give my suggestions a try.

Filter words

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A buzz word in the writing community right now is filter words.  The dreaded, ever-present filter words.  Don’t use them, everyone says.  Like adverbs, they’re not inherently bad.  But also like adverbs, there’s a time and place for them.

So, what are filter words?

Filter words are words that filter what the character is experiencing, removing the reader from the scene.  They include see, hear, think, feel, notice, think, smell, etc.

For example:  “They saw the boy run down the street.”  “He felt sad.”  “She thought he looked tired.”

This gets into telling, not showing.  The narrator is telling us that something is happening, rather than letting us experience it and draw our own conclusions.  By throwing in too many filter words, the author throws up barriers that prevent the reader from empathizing with the character, rather than just sympathizing (the difference being, empathy=I feel your pain; sympathy=I feel sorry for your pain).

Additionally, assuming the writer is using limited POV (POV of just one character), it goes without saying that they saw something.  That he felt the sadness.  That she thought something.  Removing filter words can tighten up your writing by removing redundancies.

Better sentences would be: “The boy ran down the street.”  “Tears welled up in his eyes.  Old Yeller was never coming back.”  “He yawned and rubbed at the dark circles under his eyes.”

While it may change the meaning slightly, it brings the reader closer.  And while you can argue that it’s just a trend, don’t all authors want to move their readers to feel what the characters are feeling?  Removing filter words can do this.

Death in a story

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“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” – Norman Cousins

In my novels (Both The Lone Wolf that I’ve been working on for the past eighteen months, and A Handful of Wishes, my 2010 NaNoWriMo WiP), death plays a central role.  I don’t use it lightly – it’s there so my characters can learn and grow.  Each death serves a purpose, no matter how inconsequential it appears.

In that vein, I came across this advice for incorporating death in your stories:

One of the things that, for me, is a stopper in books is when someone dies and somehow all the ‘stuff’ that happens afterward is lost in the shuffle. The characters just go on with their lives as if nothing momentous has happened. Funerals or memorials are cursory. Just as in real life we seem to need that closure, so to do our characters. Besides, it is an added occasion to show what our characters, their friends and families are made of–what their characters are truly like in a time of loss, sorrow, or in some cases, ‘unnatural’ glee. Who’s concerned with the will? Who truly cares? Who is there to be seen. Were they buried or cremated? Were ashes flung from a bi-plane over Lake Michigan or scattered along a mountain stream? Were they kept in a hand-made wooden box or porcelain urn? Are they kept on the mantle in the drawing room or in a box in the basement? Were they tossed in the backseat on the drive from the funeral home, put in the trunk or seat-belted in the front seat? Do the characters talk to the urn? And if so, what is it that is said? There is much opportunity, in death, to explore the characters and their individual motivations.

Why roses, or daffodils or lilacs at a service? Is it a military funeral? Is it formal or not? Afterward, is it a wake or a party with folks sharing stories and memories? What happens as the liquor flows? Do embarrassing moments come up? Do we learn something about someone we didn’t know before? Do our characters stay ‘in character?’ Do we find out something important that is intrinsic to the ‘who’ that they are? Who can’t wait to get out of their heels and runs around barefoot? Who’s funeral suit doesn’t fit that well any more? Which character doesn’t ‘have’ appropriate clothing to wear in the first place and is everyone in black (or what-ever is the color in their culture) or dressed in bright, happy colors? Are there children there and if so, how are they behaving? Who is right in the middle of things and who is off on the side, at the outer edges of the gathering? Is there a huge crowd or just a few people? Are the people focused on what is happening or thinking about missed phone calls, meetings, or what will be happening next week? Are several people meandering around forming strategies on who will take over the family business and wondering how they can be sure it is them and not Uncle So-and-so? Is there a gathering in the church social room, a fancy restaurant or does everyone go back home? Do folks bring tons of food or do the central characters go home to an incredibly empty house? And of course, the whys behind the author’s choices.

How does this death change some of the characters? Does it change how they might go forward? Does it have an effect on future plans? Do they act differently now that they are no longer under the deceased’s thumb or no longer worrying about letting someone down or feeling free to go off in a new direction? It seems to me that a death in a book needs to serve a purpose or else why should the reader care that they died?
(http://www.writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/4301)

Who my MC is, and who she isn’t

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As I may have said before, character development is a struggle for me.  As I rewrite I learn more about my character, but recently something dawned on me that’s helped immensely – my MC (main character) Kasey isn’t me.  She has her own goals that are different from mine.  She has mannerisms that aren’t mine.  And she reacts in ways that aren’t the same as how I would.

This realization has greatly helped me.  Of course she wasn’t working because I wasn’t writing her as who she truly is.

So who is she?  One of the ways to figure this out is to find a character in a movie or an actor that portrays a character similar to what you want, and then study them.  I watched Michelle Williams in Me Without You and realized that was how I wanted Kasey to be.  So now I’m watching Michelle in all the movies I can find (meaning everything NetFlix has on-demand), to see what she does that’s similar to Kasey, to see what I can apply to my main character.

The other characters have been easier.  Andrew – I know Andrew.  “You maybe able to read me like an open book, but you’ll never know what page you’re on,” he told me.  I know Andrew, better than he knows himself.  I know he would be played by Alexander Skarsgard because of his role in Generation: Kill; his eyes were what hooked me, that haunted combat look that I know Andrew has.  As for David, my third main character, I haven’t found who would play him yet.  I’m not as concerned, as he doesn’t matter to the story quite as much as Kasey and Andrew.

So, if you’re stuck on a character, take a movie break.  You never know what you might learn.

The First Date

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Another tip for character development – outtakes!  Write a short story using your main characters, and look at it as fulfilling a duel purpose – get to know your characters, and practice your writing skills.  Maybe even enter it in a short story contest or something.

In the first chapter of my novel the main characters reminisce about their first date.  When I came across an amateur writing contest requesting a 1500 words-or-less story about “a date which ended with a good night kiss, and how that came to be,” I realized that my characters’ date would work perfectly.  So, here it is, my first outtake.

******************************

       Kasey checked her watch again.  Seven-oh-eight.  David had said he would pick her up at seven.  Why was he late?  Maybe he’d spent too much time picking out the perfect shirt.  Maybe his car bad broken down.  Maybe he had found himself a more attractive date while driving across campus to pick her up.  Kasey gave herself a mental shake.  First dates always made her nervous.

         And then he was there, in front of her dorm, illegally parking an older Honda Civic next to the doors.  She hurried out to meet him before campus security noticed him.  Sometimes it seemed like they had a sixth sense for parking violations.

         “Wow, you look great!” David’s brown eyes took in every detail as she sat got in and pulled the door shut.

         “Thanks.” Kasey blushed and looked down at her hands in her lap.  She had picked a short black skirt, white silk camisole, and thin gray cardigan, with her dark thick hair pulled into a low ponytail.  David had been secretive about the restaurant so she had aimed for something that would work no matter where they went.

         “Is Italian okay?” David asked as he pulled away from the curb.

         “Yeah, that’s fine.  Anything beats the dining hall.”

         “At least it’s all-you-can-eat, which works great with the one-third rule.”

         “The one-third rule?”

         “Yeah, one-third of the stuff you put on your plate is edible.”

         Kasey chuckled.  “True.”

         “I’m glad you said yes.”  David reached over and squeezed her hand, then quickly put his back on the steering wheel.

         “What do I have to lose?”  She grinned at him.  “It’ll work out or it won’t; either way I’m getting a free meal.”

         David pulled into the parking lot of Carducci’s, a small upscale Italian restaurant.  Kasey was impressed; most college guys she had dated were more the Olive Garden type.  As the waiter led them to a candle-lit table in a secluded alcove, Kasey mentally promoted David to a new league far above the others.

         “How’d you get this table?” she asked him.  It was a Friday night and the restaurant was packed.

         “Can’t a guy have his secrets?”  He grinned at her.  

         They made small talk as they ate the freshly-baked bread and roasted garlic and waited for the main course to arrive.  Kasey worked at their university library between classes as a way to earn extra money, and David, as a pre-law student, spent a substantial amount of time in the building.  His casual flirting as he checked out materials had gradually grown into long conversations, and finally he had asked her out to dinner.

         As they finished the bread, the conversation died.  Kasey tried to think of something to say, something interesting, but nothing came to mind.  This was just David, she told herself, the same guy she talked to all the time at the library.  But somehow being in the restaurant, on an actual date, transformed him into someone else, someone foreign to her.

         David, perhaps sensing the growing awkwardness as well, regarded her seriously.  “It’s at this point in a date that I have to ask you a very important question, a question that will determine our compatibility and, ergo, whether there’ll be a second date.”

         Kasey swallowed hard.  She liked David and didn’t want to mess things up.

         “The big question: Batman or Superman?”

         “Batman.”  No hesitation.

         David exhaled.  “Good answer!  You really had me nervous on that one.”

         Kasey threw her straw wrapper at him.  “You’re a jerk sometimes, you know that?”

         “Yeah, but it only adds to my charm.”  He grinned and she shook her head, helpless to keep from smiling back.

         At that moment their food arrived.  David had ordered shrimp scampi, and Kasey the house lasagna.  As the waiter climbed the few steps to their alcove he tripped, spilling his tray of food onto Kasey’s lap.  She gasped as the food stained her clothes, then reddened to the color of the sauce as she realized the entire restaurant had turned their eyes to her.

         David jumped up.  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he forcefully demanded of the waiter.  “How could you be so clumsy?”

         “I apologize, sir,” stammered the waiter.  “It was an accident!”

         “My date’s outfit is ruined!”

         “It’s fine, David,” Kasey said, knowing full well that the white shirt, at least, would never come clean.  “Please sit down.”

         “No, it’s not fine.  We come here expecting high standards, and having our dinner dumped on your lap is not part of that!”

         “I swear, sir, it was an accident!” The waiter dabbed at the edge of Kasey’s lap with a napkin, and she swatted his hand away, preferring her own administrations over those of a stranger.

         “Be that as it may,” David continued in a loud voice, “her clothes are ruined!  Something will need to be done about that!”

         “I’m trying, sir!”  The waiter, near to tears, again attempted to wipe off Kasey’s skirt, and she again swatted him away.

         A short balding man approached the table, hands clasped in front of him.  “I am so sorry!” he said in a heavy Italian accident.  “This should not have happened.  Lucas, run and tell the chefs to remake their meals as quickly as possible.”

         The waiter dashed off, relief visibly written on his face.

         The bald man turned back to Kasey and David.  “Of course, sir and madame, we strive for the best possible dining experience.  Your meal tonight will be on the house.”

         “Thank you, sir,” said Kasey.  The other patrons were still watching her table closely.  She wished they would focus on their food rather than the spectacle that her date had become.

         David remained standing, jaw clenched.  “David, sit down please,” she told him.

         “What about her clothes?” He waved his hand at Kasey.  At that point she had managed to clean the chunks of food off her lap, although an enormous red stain remained.

         “That is unfortunate, sir.  Would you like me to have your meal put in a box for you?”

         “No, I would not like it boxed.  Her clothes are ruined because of your waiter.  I want you to pay for the drycleaning bill.”

         “Sir, as I said, the accident is unfortunate, but you are getting the meal for free.”

         “David, it’s fine.  Please sit down.”

         “No, it’s not fine!  I want Mr. Carducci here to pay for the drycleaning!”

         “Sir, I must object…”

         “Really, it’s fine. Really.”

         “No, it’s not.  Pay for the drycleaning.”

         “David!” Kasey pleaded as his voice grew louder.  She wondered if she would fit under the table.

         “Please, sir…”

         “Is this how you treat your customers?”

         Kasey leaned her forehead on her hand and groaned softly.  She could feel the eyes of everyone in the restaurant upon her.  She wanted to melt onto the floor.

         The bald man sensed it as well.  “Very well, sir.  Send us the drycleaning bill and we’ll pay it as well.”

         “Thank you.”  David smiled and sat down.  “Could we get some more bread while we’re waiting for our food?”

         Kasey was quiet on the drive back to her dorm.  As soon as possible she wanted to change into pajamas, fall asleep, and pretend that night had never happened.

         “That didn’t turn out quite like I’d hoped,” said David as he pulled up to the doors of her building.

         “Well, I guess it’s a small relief that you didn’t plan for me to wear dinner.”  Kasey gave him a weak smile.

         “I did however have this planned.”  He leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips.  She closed her eyes, delighting in the warmth that spread through her body.  He gently placed his hand on her cheek and pulled her closer to him.

         She didn’t know if the kiss lasted a second or a minute; she just only knew that David’s lips felt perfect on hers and she didn’t want him to stop kissing her.

         The moment was over too soon, however, as seemed to be the case for most perfect kisses.  A tap on the window broke them apart.  David turned away from Kasey, regretfully it seemed, and rolled down his window.

         “Sir, you can’t park here,” said the security guard standing next to the car.

         “Alright, fine, I’m almost done,” David told him.

         “For tonight.”  Kasey smiled.  “Should we try burgers tomorrow?”

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