Weekend Writing Warrior 2/28/16 #8Sunday

gare Avignon


This month’s excerpts are from the next stand-alone short story I plan to release (still working on the title). I don’t have a blurb yet either, but it’s about an American guy’s up-and-down relationship with a French girl.

In this week’s scene, Daniel is leaving France after a year spent teaching in Avignon.

* * * * * * * * * *

Daniel has reached the train station, conveniently located on the edge of the old town, of the downtown. A year in France and he still isn’t sure what to call it, a city so different from any in America. Always paranoid about not having a seat, he bought his ticket weeks ago. He’s early, of course; traveling in the States has trained him to arrive hours ahead of time. He sits on a bench on the edge of the terminal, half watching the people rushing by.

He hates train stations, airports too. Nowhere else is his aloneness accentuated as much as these places, where couples kiss as if they’ve been parted for years, where they embrace as if they’ll never see each other again. He’s jealous of their passion and their partners. He lays his head on his hands, propped up on his knees, closes his eyes, and waits for his train to Paris.

* * * * * * * * * *

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  1. Ah yes, loneliness can definitely feel worse in the coming and going places. Hope things look up for him soon.

  2. You painted the perfect picture of the man alone, so sad. Outstanding writing.

  3. Lots of feels in this snippet, intense. Loved it!

  4. Touching snippet. Definitely some great imagery here.

  5. Very melancholy moment. I like how you’ve tapped into the loneliness that’s provoked by the most mundane things.

  6. It’s a melancholy scene–and you’ve painted it well. Nicely done, ED.

  7. It’s tough when you feel the whole world is reminding you of something. Though I think he may be exaggerating a tad.

  8. Melancholy train stations, and it’s lonely traveling alone–well done 😀

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