New month, new story. This time I’m pulling from a short story, “Not My Thing,” that’ll be released free from Evolved Publishing sometime in the near future.
Jeff is a drummer out on his first major tour, playing small clubs across the Midwest, but he’s come down with a bad case of writer’s (musician’s?) block and can’t get the songs to come out right.
In this excerpt, he’s just played a set and is in an alley outside the venue, where he meets a local woman.
He nods at her and says, “S’up.”
“Hey,” she says as she stares straight ahead, as if aware she shouldn’t be talking to strange guys in dark alleys.
“Want a light?”
Still staring ahead, she says, “I don’t smoke.”
“Me neither.”
She turns her head slightly, probably sizing him up. “But you offered me a light.”
“Then it’s a good thing you didn’t accept.”
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Love this eight. Short and sweet, the dialogue funny. What more can I say except, good job, E.D.
LMAO. I think I can totally sympathize with her. First the “S’up” and then the offer for a light…wow. I’d be hesitant if I were her too…hope he manages get a little smoother with his tactics!
Such a fun eight!
Witty comeback. You’ve established good atmosphere. :-)
Sounds to me like they’re both really cautious, especially the woman. I’m wondering why she’s in the alley and curious about where this encounter will lead.
So is offering a light an automatic opening (even if he doesn’t have one) or is he weeding out the ones who smoke?
I like the tone of the conversation, even though it’s quiet and subdued. I can visualize the scene and really wonder what will happen between them. Great snippet!