Weekend Writing Warriors 7/21/13

I’ve spent the last few days on a random road trip (details to come later this week; suffice it to say I can barely see out of one eye right now and Canadian immigration does NOT like my travel style), so to celebrate my wanderings this week’s excerpt comes from “Riding the Rails,” a fun story I wrote a while back about a hobo named Georgie talking to himself while trying to hop aboard a freight train to make it to the big hobo powwow (full story at Hobo Camp Review).

He closed his eyes, wiped his hands on his dirt-stained jeans. The coupling rods squealed and groaned in protest as the train rumbled across the track. “C’mon, Georgie, you can do this. Count to three and go.” Another breath, still bouncing on his heels. “One, two, three.”

He opened his eyes. He hadn’t moved.

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  1. Well done! That last line is full of humor.

  2. What a clever idea for a story and your snippet made me giggle. Too funny!
    I wish you better luck in your travels. :(

    History Sleuth’s Milk Carton Murders

  3. Wow! So funny that you posted this. Hubby and I were just sitting at a crossing watching an endless train pass and I said, “Wanna hop on?” He just shrugged and said, “Sometimes.” I didn’t take it too personally – sometimes I want to hop a train too. :)Thanks for sharing!

  4. Yeah, I wouldn’t have moved either LOL! Terrific snippet!

  5. Love the snippet – and really like Georgie already. Nicely done. Great #8

  6. Succinct yet revealing, as always! Thanks for sharing this one.

  7. Put a smile on my face this morning. Thanks for sharing this!

  8. I love the way this ends–he closes his eyes and yet… he hasn’t moved. Nice!

  9. I’ve heard jumping trains was/is dangerous–I’d need to nerve myself up to it, too.

  10. Very nice! You’ve painted the scene well, and it was fun being inside Georgie’s head. :-)

  11. Enjoyed your 8! Great imagery!

  12. Great 8! And such an interesting premise to a story!

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