Weekend Writing Warriors 6/2 #8sunday

How is it June already?

Today’s excerpt is from the first of a five-part story, “Family Traditions,” that’ll be included in The Futility of Loving a Soldier, my short story collection that I wanted to have out last weekend but, well, yeah. Didn’t happen. Editing is taking longer than anticipated; I hope to have it all available within the next couple weeks.

Joop (pronounced Jope) and his brother Georges are immigrant farmhands in America right after WWI. Jope, the more outgoing of the two, has always felt the need to protect his younger brother, and in doing so has normally gotten the girl. Georges has just told him he’s marrying the tavern girl they both have a crush on.

“Georges, that’s wonderful! Why didn’t you say anything to me sooner?”

Georges swallowed hard, looked down at his feet then straight at Joop. “Stay away from her, Joop. You so much as say a word to her before I marry her, and you’re dead to me.”

Joop placed his hand on his heart, staggered backwards, and said, “Brother, you wound me. I would never

“I mean it; stay away from her.”

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  1. Great excerpt, ED! I can picture Georges’ face, probably a mixture of determination with a bit of uncertainty. I bet he’s never spoken so forcefully to his brother. Looking forward to more from this.

  2. Poor Georges. I feel for him and I’m proud of him too. Hope Joop doesn’t take it as a challenge. Oh boy.

  3. “I would never…” Now, why don’t I believe him? Like SJ said, I hope he doesn’t cause trouble.

  4. Intense. I’m with SJ, I hope Joop doesn’t decide to meddle. An excellent excerpt!

  5. Great snippet – Jealousy is a powerful emotion and between brothers – oh dear!

  6. Anytime someone says “I would never”, you just know there’s a whole history proclaiming the opposite. And you know that, even if he hadn’t been thinking of starting trouble before, he’s thinking about it now. Great 8!

  7. Oh,yes he would . . . but I’m wondering if his intentions haven’t been at least a little more pure than they might seem.

    But if Joop is crushing on her, too . . . that’s different, right?

    Good stuff!

  8. This rings true. My Norwegian-Swedish family has a story that the older sister stole the boyfriend of the younger sister. That is why the younger sister and her mother left for America.

  9. I can just feel George’s blood pressure rise. Great imagery !
    I’m going to like this story, I can tell. I love the early 1900s.

    History Sleuth’s Milk Carton Murders

  10. Very nice interaction between your character.
    I like how you have Georges repeat himself.

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