Today’s excerpt is from my novel, The Lone Wolf, which will be published by Evolved Publishing in December 2013 (yay me!):
After her husband’s infidelities are revealed, Kasey Sanford just wants to rediscover who she is. After an abusive childhood and years as a career soldier, Andrew Adams just wants someone to tell him that he’s doing the right thing with his life. When their paths cross, Kasey and Andrew embark on a tumultuous journey that demonstrates just what they’re willing to do to save the ones they love.
In this scene, Andrew is back in his hometown, visiting his childhood best friend, Carly. Growing up, Andrew and Carly always assumed they’d end up together some day, but life got in the way. Carly married another of their childhood friends, Mark, who’d always been in love with her.
“I don’t love him, Andrew. I like him but I don’t love him, and I feel so guilty about it. I try to love him, I really do. I keep telling myself, ‘Give it time,’ but how much time? I hate that he’s wasting his life on me, when he’s such a good guy and deserves so much more.” Carly bit her lip, the same as she’d always done when she was trying not to cry, and even now it still about broke my heart. “I’ve never admitted this out loud before; does it make me a bad person?”
I leaned over, wrapped my arms around her, and spoke into her hair, “No, you’re the goodest person I’ve ever known.”
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I think you should change “goodest” to “best.”
I agree with Kate, you might want to rethink using ‘goodest’. You show Carly’s confliction just beautifully, though.
Such a touching moment between these two. This is wonderful.
I can feel her anguish. Well done.
A very moving scene…excellent excerpt!
A great touching moment, but I have to agree about using “goodest”. It seems a little jarring.
Congratulations on your publishing deal. That’s wonderful!
A very touching scene. Great snippet.
I like the male perspective in romance. I find it refreshing.
I agree, you may want to change the word to “best”, unless of course he is trying to be cutesy, by purposely using it. Anything can happen in dialogue. Think of all the crazy non-words we use everyday.
History Sleuth’s Writing mysteries.
Makes me wonder why Carly married Mark if she doesn’t love him. Sounds like there’s a story there, too. And Carly’s anguish is palpable. My only caveat is to agree with the others, that unless there is a reason that he used “goodest” to change it to “best”. Though, as was said, it’s dialogue, so if that’s the way he talks, or if he was trying to be cute, then obviously leave it alone.
Poor Carly, what is she going to do? It is such a terrible situation to spend your entire life with someone you don’t love.
Is “goodest” a specific vocabulary twist between them?
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