Today’s eight are from a story I wrote this week for the May Story a Day challenge, “The Commute.”
Adem has been dreaming about a garden full of roses, and when a street vendor comes by while he’s waiting for the afternoon bus, he buys two on a whim. On the ride he falls in love with the woman sitting next to him, whom he’s decided to call Jennifer, and imagines their lives together.
The bus stopped at Union Station, Adem’s stop, and Jennifer stood too. As they disembarked, Adem realized he would never see her again: no kids, no vacations, no smoothing her hair while sitting on the couch.
Jennifer moved inside the station, leaving him behind on the sidewalk. The scent of roses was gone, just the smells of the city lingering, exhaust and people, an Indian restaurant and Subway. Jennifer had taken the roses’ fragrance with her.
He pushed past the people coming out of the building, looking for her, and finally spotted her heading towards the train terminal. He shouldered through the crowd, ignoring their glares and exclamations, until he reached her and tapped her on the shoulder.
“This is going to sound weird, but these are for you,” he said as he held out the roses towards her.
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There’s a little bit of magic in this snippet and I find it completely charming.
Love the emotion in this snippet. I did catch one typo in your last sentence I think you meant these not there. Good luck with your challenge!
“Hello I Love You” brought to life–how cool! Please do post more.
Falls in love with her on the bus???? Wow, now i’m totally intrigued and I hope she takes the roses…terrific snippet, loved all the description.
That’s sweet. I love it! I hope his imaginings come true.
Very charming. I hope more comes of their encounter.
I hope she takes them.. nice hook because I need to know more..x
This is so romantic, I wish it could really happen.
How romantic! This is a great snippet. :-)
Aww… how sweet. The question now is, will she accept the flowers or think he’s some kind of stalker? And I’m really curious how in the world he “fell in love” so quickly with someone without ever even knowing her name. Very cute.
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