Six Sentence Sunday 11/11 #sixsunday

Today’s six are from my NaNoWriMo novel (which isn’t progressing as quickly as it should be, and is also part of the reason posts are light this month).

I’m trying steampunk this year.  Literary steampunk.  Branko Radic is a Serbian inventor/Nikola Tesla knockoff working on an invention that will revolutionize the world.  And of course, everyone wants it – good and bad guys will stop at nothing to get it.  When he goes missing, a senator’s daughter, her fiancé, and an architect from our non-steampunk world race to find him and recover his invention.

Branko has just gotten his invention working when some goons pay him a visit.

The man in the middle’s eyes narrow as he says, “My employer does not negotiate.” He flicks his wrist at the men beside him. “Boys?”

The two thugs move towards Branko, toppling lab equipment and disconnecting wires as they go, and Branko realizes he’s trapped. He lunges for the remote and spins the dial to “S.” Just as the men are about to reach him, he aims the remote at the mirror, presses the red button, and disappears.

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  1. Well, that certainly is one way to escape. 🙂 Great six!

  2. Holy cow, this is pretty interesting!

    Could I make one suggestion? Since the thugs knock things over as they “move” toward Branko, maybe a stronger verb instead of “move” would be more effective. But that’s a tiny nitpick in an otherwise exciting snippet 🙂

    1. Thanks for the suggestion! This is for NaNo, so it’s still a really, really, really rough draft. 🙂

  3. Oh! Awesome! Did he disappear into the mirror?

    1. Yeah, he basically invented a Tesla coil-like device that can either blow you up, or transport you into an alternate reality (our world) that’s accessible through mirrors. The story revolves around who gets control of the device, and what they do with it.

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